


tell me how i can tell her (i love her)

by ImSoSupernova



Category: SKAM Austin
Genre: F/F, Gen, Internalized Homophobia, Pining, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-28 22:12:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14458878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImSoSupernova/pseuds/ImSoSupernova
Summary: Shay had almost completely, perfectly convinced herself that she was in love with Marlon. Almost.





	tell me how i can tell her (i love her)

**Author's Note:**

> hey, y'all! this fic was inspired by a lovely person on facebook who asked for some shay pining for meg! i didn't get a chance to proofread this, so i apologize for any errors! also, i think this is the first skam austin fic which is wild and cool! the song title is inspired by a jens lekman song!

Shay had almost completely, perfectly convinced herself that she was in love with Marlon. Almost.

_ That’s the reason, _ she always told herself, whenever she felt compelled to hurry over to where he and Meg were wrapped around each other in the schoolyard, to force herself between them or mock them until they broke apart, all of them laughing, all of them slightly uncomfortable.  _ That’s what that weird tension’s about,  _ she always reminded herself whenever she felt compelled to call Meg to find out if she was with Marlon and always froze up, always felt too nervous, too tongue-tied to figure out what else to say. After all, Marlon had been her best friend since they were kids, and wasn’t it true that at some point guys and girls couldn’t be friends anymore? And Marlon  _ was  _ cute, she supposed, he had curly hair and he was a smart and a good singer and girls liked that sort of thing.

He was also kind of an asshole, though. Sometimes when Shay was hanging with him and Meg, he would say some things that would make her spine tighten up. Make her feel a slow, rolling anger in her stomach that she didn’t understand but made her feel like she might be sick. She could never figure out exactly  _ why  _ she felt that way, why it made her so upset, but she was sure it had to do with her crush on Marlon. It had to be. And nothing to do with how guys grossed her out most of the time and when she was with her male friends she always found herself counting the seconds until the time to leave. Or with Meg, and how her long, silky-soft brown hair cascaded over her bare shoulders and back…

Nothing. At all.

But that was where that  _ almost  _ came in, that sneaky, treacherous word. Because no matter how much Shay told herself that she liked Marlon, or how much she tried to get herself to focus on his hair, his eyes, his cheekbones, she found her mind drifting. Drifting away from her best friend, and towards his girlfriend. Towards Meg. 

_ Meg, _ and her spotless golden skin and deep dark eyes.  _ Meg,  _ and her musical laugh and her adorable, dimpling smile.  _ Meg, _ and those times when her smile faltered and her eyes lowered, and she shrank into herself with the sound of her boyfriend and his friend’s laughter around her.  _ Meg, _ and her long, dark brown hair that Shay wanted so badly to tangle her fingers in and pull her close, until their lips brushed together--

_ Meg, Meg, Meg.  _ Underneath, it was always Meg. Shay thought her name, over and over again, until it felt like the words were burned onto her skull, the insides of her eyelids. Until she was afraid to speak because it was the only word on her tongue. Until any thoughts of her best friend and the years they’d spent together always having each other’s backs melted away, and all she wanted to do--

Shay had almost completely, perfectly convinced herself that she was in love with Marlon. Almost. 

Except for the fact that she wanted nothing more than to date his girlfriend.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm so excited for shay to be gay and get her own season!! if y'all are excited too hit me up on tumblr @lesbianshaydixon!!


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